I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
