From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
