She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
