Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
