It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
