I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
