I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
