Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Who wears a wallet chain?!
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
