We're like a lot better than the average bears
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Randomize
