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I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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