You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
