It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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