I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
