the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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