At least make sure they are 18
Why
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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