wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Randomize
