Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Randomize
