Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
