Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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