I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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