I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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