ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
