The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
God, you're like boner-b-gone
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
i drank out of a bidet.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
