she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
