you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
