If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I have fence marks all over my body
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
