She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
So here I am, sexting at work.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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