is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
