I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
