It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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