East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize