I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
