I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Ladies don't puke and tell
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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