I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Randomize
