a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
