When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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