how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
