I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
