Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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