wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
