one word: firstdatebathroomanal
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
