New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
