They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
