im drinking this country out of the recession.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
