Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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