North Korea, Best Korea!
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Randomize
