Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
