Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
