You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
