he shaved USA in his pubs
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
