Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize
