You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
