Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Randomize
