I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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