so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
