What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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