just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
nutella sex= disaster
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
