i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
What drink are we having for lunch?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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